It was August 2006 when I got my first kiss. It happened halfway through a movie and I wasn’t expecting it. I was tracking with the characters, absorbed in the plot, when all of a sudden- LIPS! LIPS ON MY LIPS, out of nowhere. And in that instant, as I registered the epic event that was happening to me, I realized what it meant for something to have my full attention. I was so there. I felt like I had 16 senses, rather than five. Every part of me was alert, aware. It was a sensory experience of the highest level; and everything in me shouted “Don’t lose this moment! Engage! Press in! Hold on!” And I did. No one had to tell me to do that—it just happened. No one had to tell me to close my eyes and lean in. It was the most natural thing in the world.
I’ve recently been asking myself—when have I ever been that aware again? When have I had my senses as engaged as I did the night of my first kiss? Can this sort of sustained attention to something or someone become natural?
There are many things that deserve far more attention than we give them. We flit from one thing to the next, content to have touched upon a thousand things, just to say we have. But this is not true knowledge of something. JI Packer says, “to know of God and to know God are two very different things.” The same goes with people or experiences. To know something is to live it, to experience it in as many facets as you can. So this is a call to avoid half-baked multitasking moment.
As believers, we must be all in; senses piqued, Holy awareness. We must lean in to hear people and touch them with Jesus’s love. If that means putting down your flashcards because a friend needs to talk at Caribou, do it. Be given over to that moment, to that person. You won’t be changed (or change someone else) unless you truly engage. There is no other option. But this is also a call to be discerning about what you give your full attention to. Paul asks us to think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Those are the signs of God’s stamp on the world—the things that deserve our focus.
For undivided attention to become natural, a shift must occur. My first kiss was natural because it was the time and place for it to happen. I was in a relationship, we were in close proximity, and we both desired it. To become people who open our hearts to other people’s lives, and give ourselves to the moments God gives us (a sunset, a piece of music, children playing), we must be in relationship with the One who created those things. We miss beauty because we are consumed with life’s worry and minutiae. We must choose the better thing.
Why are we uncomfortable with the thought of attending fully to one thing to the exclusion of others? Do we think we are so important that the world will stop if we only lend our ears to one person or one moment or one God at a time? We must put down the idol of our own importance. I’m sorry, but it must be done. What is important is to engage with the people or situations that God has brought near for His good purposes.
So yes, this is about stopping the texting when your friend is trying to tell you about her day—honestly, stop that—but it goes past that. We desire to know and be known; the intimacy of a kiss, but we hesitate to give that primacy to others or to God. Scripture tells us that He is jealous of our attention—the God of the Universe listens to us! And yet how often do we fully focus during our time with Him?
We would agree with Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie that “We want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd,” yet we don’t do what it takes to get there. Create moments of willing one thing and one thing only. In your frantic world, give things your full attention, heart mind and strength. Because I promise you, after that first kiss, all you can think about is how long it will take for the next one to come around.
And all you have to do is lean in.
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